I took this photo in early June over in Sparta, Wisconsin. My mom and I were there for our annual birthday trip celebration. There's a long biking trail with cool tunnels; it was once a railroad track.

At the time, my platelet count was about 1 but we didn't know it yet. I'm glad we didn't know because it was a really fun day. It was a really brave day. We came home early because I was getting red dots and it was clear that all was not well. The feeling of walking my bike through that long tunnel has remained with me. I can still feel the chill of the air once we got inside....the drip, drip, drip of moisture...the darkness.

The summer was a long, dark tunnel.

I like the above quote but it does not reflect my general life approach. When things are scary and dark, my first response is not to sit still and trust. My first response is to freak out and pitch a fit. To question the safety of the train. To question the qualifications of the engineer.

I don't think I'll ever be able to completely change that part of myself, and I don't think I'd really want to change that part. But maybe...bit by bit...I will learn to trust a wee bit more. 


  1. I am not an expert, but in my humble opinion the key is to focus on the person's mind and body in which we each live. To build up an incredibly strong inner peace and strength in that person. To feel safe and secure, knowing that person will cope with and handle ANYTHING within it's sphere of control. Anything outside that sphere, we accept and leave the control/outcome to God. So no matter how long and dark the tunnel is, our trust lies in two places: first in ourselves, and second in the ultimate engineer above.