Perspective

I stumbled across this photo from 2010 last night. As you can see, I had a real issue figuring out how to focus. 

Upon finding this photo on my hard drive, my first thought was, "Delete it. It's blurry."

Then I noticed something. The flower in the front is large and blurry. But the flower toward the back is perfectly clear. And actually, some of the greenery is in focus, too.

It's just the flower right in front that's out of focus.

This is basically how I feel 1-month into my new job.

Overall, I love it. I do. Writing, preaching, strategizing, web development.

Like the perfectly focused flower in the background of the photo, I, too, have a focused, clear vision of what this new position is and can be. I'm excited. Thrilled about all the long-term possibilities.

But right now, there's a giant blurry flower in front of me called "Synod Assembly." When I think of the things I need to have done in the next month, I get small heart palpitations. Literally. And tension headaches. The more I stare at my to do list, the more blurry everything becomes. I'm scared and overwhelmed. And normal.

This photo reminded me of an important truth: sometimes the view is blurry in the short-term, but very clear in the long-term.

This first year in a new role is a major learning adventure. I have little to no clue what I'm doing. That's always how it is when something is new. The computer programs I use daily are all new territory. Using a Mac is new territory. Leading a technology crew at a large event will be a new experience. Learning, learning, learning. Here and there and everywhere. It's blurry. The view is skewed. That's just reality.

But a year from now, everything will make a lot more sense. Everything will have lot more clarity and focus. Skills will be acquired. Confidence will be gained. 

It's pretty incredible to have a vocational opportunity like this. A chance to stretch and grow. It really is. And I can either resent it because I'm afraid to learn new things and potentially initially stink at them. Or I can dive in and say, "What a great chance to learn a lot in a short time!" 

I keep trying to remind myself that there's no way to fast-forward through the "learning" part of a new career - I can't instantly "know" how to do so many new technology-based activities. The writing part I feel good about. The preaching part I also feel good about. Talking to people = good. Formatting giant reports and spreadsheets and worship booklets and PowerPoints = new territory. 

So this is the part where I just keep pushing myself and trusting that God is near. I will keep smiling. I will keep expanding the network of connections in my brain that will allow me to learn and retain a new skill-set. 

I WILL learn. I will figure this out. And hopefully I can give myself and others a good measure of grace in the meantime.

My colleagues are terrific; they are patient and encouraging. I'm thankful to be part of the team. It's a crew of people with a huge array of talents and gifts. I am grateful. And I want to do my very best. 

All around me is a beautiful world, completely in focus. I just have to get passed this giant blurry orb in front of me, and everything will become a lot more clear. One step at a time. One day at a time. One hour at a time.