Holy Everything Reads: The Four Tendencies

“We may think we know the “best” way, or the way others “should” work, but whether at home or at work, as long as the tasks are getting done, we should let other people suit themselves. We get along best with others when we recognize and respect that they might approach the world in a different way.” 

-from “The Four Tendencies” by Gretchen Rubin

Book #7 of Holy Everything Reads: "The Four Tendencies" by Gretchen Rubin. It's a non-fiction book written by the same author as "The Happiness Project." I liked that book. And I liked this book even more. There's so much about "The Four Tendencies" that can be immediately incorporated into daily life and relationships. That's what I appreciated about it most. 

While I don't "love" personality assessments of any kind (like StrengthsFinder, MyersBriggs, Enneagram), I did appreciate this book a lot! 

(Side note - the reason I no longer give all that much cred to personality is because I listened to this podcast a couple summers back.) 

The good thing about "The Four Tendencies": at the core, the author is not about personality or making conjectures about personality types. 

Instead, it's a book about expectations. It's based on the theory that all human beings respond to inner & outer expectations in one of four ways. This are no correlations between personalities and tendencies; any personality type can be any of the four tendencies. 

The tendencies are: Upholder, Questioner, Rebel, and Obliger. 

If you'd like a sense of your own tendency, you might like to take this quiz. 

I'm sharing some of my favorite passages from the book this week on Instagram; feel free to follow along! (the passages are paired with photos from florida) 

My favorite takeaways from this book were the inspiration it gave me to interact with my loved ones, coworkers, and friends in more intentional ways! At the end of each section there are tips for how to interact with that tendency type....whether as a spouse, coworker, friend, child, or medical patient. 

The other significant I'm taking away from this book relates to my work as a communications professional. What I realized in reading the book is that I generally tend to communicate as if I'm trying to relate to people who experience expectations in the same way as me. Now I feel more equipped to communicate in a variety of ways...in the hopes of persuading/motivating all folks based on their own individual perception of inner and outer expectations. 

If you read the book, let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts.