Heart Thoughts

Yesterday, the theme of the day was heart. It seemed to show up everywhere. 

I saw this on my tea bag yesterday morning.

And I'm reading The Untethered Soul. In the part I read yesterday, the author said:

The most important thing in life is your inner energy. If you're always tired and never enthused, then life is no fun. But if you're always inspired and filled with energy, then every minute of the day is an exciting experience. Learn to work with these things. Through meditation, through awareness and willful efforts, you can learn to keep your centers open [he's talking about energy centers here - also called chakras]. You do this by just relaxing and releasing. You do this by not buying into the concept that there is anything worth closing over. Remember, if you love life, nothing is worth closing over. Nothing, ever, is worth closing your heart over.

So inspired by all the heart energy, I worked on a little project yesterday afternoon. I had gotten some jar-shaped stickers at Michael's a week or so ago; it was fun to have a use for two of them.

I thought about the things I want in my heart and the things I don't want in my heart.

I've realized lately that I have some anger in there. Maybe more than I had previously accepted or recognized. I always thought, "I'm a happy person. I'm a positive person. I'm not an angry person."

And that's true. I am happy and positive. 

But I do have anger. I'm mad at behaviors of people from long ago. I'm mad at the long-standing patterns created by the choices of people. I'm mad at injustice. I'm mad at selfishness. I am mad at my body for eating platelets. I am mad that people can be mean. I AM mad, actually. When I let myself feel it. I'm mad and I'm angry. 

I realized yesterday that I can be both. Happy and positive - and mad and angry. That's normal. It doesn't mean I'm not loving and kind. It just means I'm human and I have stuff to work through in my heart jar. 

Also, I have other people's baggage and garbage in my heart jar, too - things that aren't mine but I'm carrying around anyway. Why am I carrying all that around? I have no idea. I sometimes wonder if deep down I'm holding on to the mistaken belief that by carrying around other people's heart garbage, I'm alleviating their suffering. But I'm not. I'm just adding to my own. 

 The author of the book, Michael Singer, is right, I think. All that garbage is blocking my heart. I feel it. I feel a tightness in there. I feel how it impacts my decisions in daily life and relationships. I feel how it impacts the way I value myself (or sometimes don't value myself). I feel how all that heart garbage causes stress, suffering, and pain. 

 I believe I have a really good heart, a beautiful heart, a kind heart - but I think sometimes the other garbage gets in my heart jar and fills it up. And no one can heal this but me (and God, of course). 

I don't exactly know the solution. 

But I feel like awareness must be part of it. 

Meditation. Prayer. Boundaries. Self-acceptance.

Also, the Bible says a LOT about the heart. Here are a 100 verses.

I like Philippians 4:7 a lot: "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

And John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Psalm 19: 14, too: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

I pray you have a good start to a new week, friends. May your heart jar be filled with good and beautiful things.